Abort, retry, fail?

When I think about it, I have plenty of blog-worthy (that isn't saying much, I know) adventures. A little over a year ago I shaved my head, so I have lived the life of a bald woman in a conservative state. I have a liberal arts degree and spent some time working as an Office Bitch. My current job offers plenty of contact with all kinds of different people.

But the thing that gets me back here to write is my dog. I got a dog two weeks ago, and sometimes I get the feeling that I'm her sidekick. She drags me around, up and down hills in the park, making me feel three times older than I am, and then looks at me quizzically when I can't keep up. She explores creeks the way I like to. When I watched her for a little while last Friday, I felt like I was watching a reversal of a common daydream I used to have - a dog with an imaginary little girl running alongside. So, of course, I chased her - the dog - because I want to be what I always wanted to be. That's not too much to ask.

nothing is real

The more I think about things, the more I realize I like the way John Lennon thinks. It was quite the rude awakening when I saw the preview for The US vs. John Lennon and I realized that I think I'd go with John on this one.

It's interesting - the moment I walked into the music store that day I decided to play guitar, and the song I wanted to learn how to play first - at my first lesson - got me hooked on the Beatles. Sometimes I wonder if I'm crazy - they are but men - but the words...

So today was another Beatles day. I have them occasionally, when I need a good day or when I need to recapture that feeling of the day I was playing "Across the Universe" in perfect synchronization with my guitar teacher and I believed it when I sang "nothin's gonna change my world," even though I knew it was wrong, I believed it.

And I have since then - when my mom had cancer, when I graduated from high school and then from college... through all the emotional trauma that happens in adolescence, somewhere deep in my mind was something untouchable: a sanctuary I could go to. I just forgot the way sometimes.

nano -2

This can't be good. I'm already sitting here looking at the blank screen with nothing to write.

This year I promise to try to have a plot - that makes sense. Maybe I won't have totally insane characters... maybe.

I promise to write 50,000 words of marginally better quality than last year.

See you in 2 days...