Disappointment

It wasn't anything serious. I only asked the vet to rule out anything physical. I was positive Miss had learned the art of being a drama queen from Kristy.

I didn't expect luxating patella. In those times when Miss limps briefly, her kneecap has moved out of place, causing her a bit of pain. It goes back into place on its own. If it gets much worse, surgery will need to happen. It's unilateral - usually it's bilateral. Maybe it wasn't congenital. Maybe it was the result of trauma to her knee.

Either way, I don't feel comfortable going anywhere beyond beginning agility with her. I know it's mild, but if something were to happen to her, I'd cry.

Granted, Miss's case isn't serious. It doesn't interfere with her daily life or her stunning ability to be the Best Dog Ever, but I'm disappointed. Part of me is disappointed that she's not perfect: she has a physical flaw now. She's not just "inferior" as far as breeding stock or AKC standards go because of her lack of breed, but now because she has a physical defect. But this isn't what's lingered. I'd love Miss if she didn't have a head.

What disappoints me is that I figured nothing could go wrong with her. I bought into the "mutts are healthier" and took it as a mini-guarantee that she wouldn't get diseases commonly associated with overbred puppy mill spawn. She was probably made the way nature intended: because some people didn't want their dogs to get fixed and an Aussie met a poorly bred Golden, and bam. Mississippi.

And then there was my expectation that it was her fault - it was a plea for attention, not a legitimate pain. My elbows have been hurting in sympathy, as if to tell me that yes, Miss did hurt and I discounted that pain.

She's picked up on my feelings of being hurt and feeling "weird" toward her and she doesn't want to come in my room. She's afraid I'm mad at her.

Sometimes I wish I didn't know, but that would only make it worse when I found out.

The other day I told Andrew that I wanted to make Miss a special digging pit when we get a big enough yard. He likes terriers, who love to dig, so I figured it'd be a good idea.

Now I'm also getting Miss a pool or something. Swimming is very good for luxating patella, and she happens to love it.

If I got a pond, I'd attract ducks, and then I might not be able to live with myself. Duck crap is definitely one of my least favorite substances on the face of the earth.

So there you have it: a whole lotta moping over a not-so-serious problem in my little dog's knee. It's only because I'm a crazy dog mom.